Day 15 of Panchakarma – the harem + *shock, horror* more (hilarious) surrender

Sticking with the theme of enemas, because, well why not? I am undergoing an Ayurvedic treatment programme after all (but if you don’t have the stomach for it – look away now).

So, those buckets of medicine are being inserted into a part of the body that can absorb liquid and medication – hence the use of suppositories. Apparently, administering medication up the bum, in liquid form via an enema in this case, allows the body to soak up the medicine effectively. When the body has absorbed as much as it can what’s left is expelled. However, the take up on the inside needs some encouragement in the form of practice (the path to improvement always includes practice of some sort, right). And so the body needs some time to understand what’s happening and get involved in the game – my body is still in the early stages of practicing the enema game.

Yesterday morning, when I was given one of the buckets of medicine I hadn’t computed all that. I didn’t understand that my body was not yet in the habit of  absorbing liquid through the lower end of my colon. That said, yesterday I was keen to keep the liquid inside for as long as possible. When the first hint of a downward movement came I figured I could wait a moment. I was wrong.

The second hint came less than a minute later at which point I ran towards the loo – the way a lame goose might run – navigating the treatment room massage bench en route with a hand up against my backside and buttocks clenched.

But by the time I stepped into the loo I was already too late. I’d pooped my pants – literally. In truth mostly what got expelled was just runny medicine. My clothing was soiled.

As I washed up and rinsed out my knickers and trousers I felt embarrassed. I wondered what I could do about a change of clothes. Oh for the shame of it! The arrogance of it!! I thought I knew the signals from my backside. Clearly not. I thought I could make it from porch to perch on the loo with enough time. I was mistaken. Shamefully mistaken. But also, really bloody hilarious.

Having managed to rinse out my pants successfully I figured I could get home on my cycle without any further embarrassment because fortunately, despite the obvious wet crotch of my pants, I was wearing a thigh-length tunic.

And so the Ayurveda adventure continues in ways I’d not foreseen. With plenty of entertainment, at my expense, for both Dr A and my Panchakarma Comrade. I don’t mind playing my mishaps for laughs, but a bottom mishap was not the game I intended to get a laugh out of!! Hence more surrendering to the process.

As for that harem
When I started with Dr A she was working solo. She’s only recently set up her business here in Tiru and had been treating her patients on her own up until about a week ago when four lovely young Tamil women joined her team. Just in time for my Panchakarma Comrade and I to enjoy the luxury of many hands tapping, rubbing and generally pummelling our bodies. So despite the bottom mishaps, the addition of the harem is very welcome, even if it does mean the witnesses to my folly are now six women instead of just two!

Wishing you a mishap-free day.